Fw: Fun

[lindafowens]

----- Original Message -----
From: lindafowens <lindafowens at netzero.net>
To: lindafowens <lindafowens at netzero.net>
Sent: Monday, July 29, 2002 4:08 PM
Subject: Fw: Fun


>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From:  Cindy!  If you like the dialogue from Mike Hammer, you'll love
these!
> Note the prevalence of brand names, and how art imitates life.  Linda
> >
> > Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays
> > >
> > > Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other
sides
> > > gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
> > > --Sue Lin Chong, Washington
> > >
> > > His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like
> > > underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
> > > --Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
> > >
> > > He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
Guy
> > > who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
those
> > > boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at
> > > high
> > > schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of
> > > those
> > > boxes with a pinhole in it.
> > > --Joseph Romm, Washington
> > >
> > > She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to
> > > dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door
> > > open again.
> > > --Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station
> > >
> > > The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling
> > > ball wouldn't.
> > > --Russell Beland, Springfield
> > >
> > > McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled
> with
> > >
> > > vegetable soup.
> > > --Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring
> > >
> > > From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,
> > > surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
> > > "Jeopardy" comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30.
> > > --Roy Ashley, Washington
> > >
> > > Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
> > > --Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
> > >
> > > Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the
center.
> > > --Russell Beland, Springfield
> > >
> > > Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access
> > > \flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch at ung but gets T: \flw.quidaaakk/ch at ung by
> > > mistake.
> > > --Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
> > >
> > > Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
> > > --Unknown
> > >
> > > He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
> > > --Jack Bross, Chevy Chase
> > >
> > > The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
fry
> > > them in hot grease.
> > > --Gary F. Hevel, Silver Spring
> > >
> > > Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the
> > > grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left
> > > Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at
> 4:19
> > > p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
> > > --Jennifer Hart, Arlington
> > >
> > > The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr.
on
> a
> > > Dr
> > > Pepper can.
> > > --Wayne Goode, Madison, AL
> > >
> > > They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that
> > > resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
> > > --Paul Kocak, Syracuse NY
> > >
> > > John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had
> also
> > > never met.
> > > --Russell Beland, Springfield
> > >
> > > The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet
of
> > > metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
> > > --Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria
> > >
> > > The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
> > > -- Unknown
> > >
> > > He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the
East
> > > River.
> > > --Brian Broadus, Charlottesville
> > >
> > > Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only
> one
> > > that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
> > > -- Sandra Hull, Arlington
> > >
> > > The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the
interview
> > > portion of "Jeopardy! "
> > > --Jean Sorensen, Herndon
> > >
> > > Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
> > > --Jerry Pannullo, Kensington
> > >
> > > The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
this
> > > plan
> > > just might work.
> > > --Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington
> > >
> > > The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating
> for
> > > a
> > > while.
> > > --Malcolm Fleschner, Arlington
> > >
> > > He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but
a
> > > real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine
or
> > > something.
> > > --John Kammer, Herndon
> > >
> > > Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell
> > > butter from I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
> > > --Barbara Collier, Garrett Park
> > >
> > > She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just
> > > before it throws up.
> > > --Susan Reese, Arlington
> > >
> > > It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had
ever
> > > seen before.
> > > --Marian Carlsson, Lexington
> > >
> > > The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep.Sheila Jackson Lee
> (D-Tex.)
> > >
> > > in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep.
> Henry
> > > Hyde (R-Ill. ) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the
> > > impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.
> > > --J. F. Knowles, Springfield
> > >
> > > The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg
> > > behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
> > > --Jennifer Hart, Arlington
> > >
> > > The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because
> of
> > > his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a
> formerly
> > >
> > > surcharge-free ATM.
> > > --Paul J. Kocak, Syracuse
> > >
> > > The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric
> fan
> > >
> > > set on medium.
> > > --Unknown
> > >
> > > It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
> power
> > > tools.
> > > --Brian Broadus, Charlottesville
> > >
> > > He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as
if
> > > she
> > > were a garbage truck backing up.
> > > --Susan Reese, Arlington
> > >
> > > She was as easy as the "TV Guide" crossword.
> > > --Tom Witte, Gaithersburg
> > >
> > > Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any
> pH
> > > cleanser.
> > > --Chuck Smith, Woodbridge
> > >
> > > She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
> > > room-temperature Canadian beef.
> > > --Brian Broadus, Charlottesville
> > >
> > > She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
> > > --Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park
> > >
> > > Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation
> thermal
> > >
> > > paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
> > > --Sue Lin Chong, Washington
> > >
> > > It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to
> the
> > > wall.
> > > --Brian Broadus, Charlottesville
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>

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