Pope smoke, anyone?

[Jean-Joseph Cote]

Pierre wrote:
> Any bets on how many times it'll take to choose one, or who
> the next Pope will be?

Many, many scrutinies, so long that they'll have to drag a couple of dead
cardinals out of the conclave, until they finally elect me as a
compromise candidate in the tradition of Saint Celestine V.  In fact, I
may choose the name Celestine VI in his honor.  And I'll set up my little
nylon dome tent in some alcove in the Vatican and start my pontificate. 
I'd better start tying knots in my hair shirt so I'll be ready.  I'm
hoping they're not too squeamish about electing somebody who isn't
ordained, because it's been a long time since that's happened.  And
they'll have to reach their decision without knowing that I'm the secret
cardinal who JPII picked a couple of years ago.

On a vaguely related topic, a friend of mine used to work for a large
insurance company in the early 1980s that also employed a woman named
Carol Voitilla.  Although he never met her, once in a while he'd get an
interdepartmental memo saying that something would have to be approved by
Carol.  And his reaction was, "Whoa, this *must* be important if I have
to get it okayed by the Pope!".  And none of his coworkers ever
understood what he was talking about.

Jean-Joseph