[Fictionary] NUMMS ballot

[Jim Moskowitz]

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At 10:33 PM -0400 3/24/12, Jim Moskowitz wrote:
>Dear Fictioneers,
>
>Enclosed please find one (1) real definition and ten (10) fake 
>definitions. You may award a 2-point vote, a 1-point vote, and as 
>many honorable mentions or fanciful awards as you wish.
>Please send me your votes by Thursday, 10pm EDT.  Thank you!
>-Jim
>
>
>numms, n. - a high-clay acidic soil common in boreal and sub-artic regions.
>
>numms, adj. - [slang] brachycephalic
>
>numms, n. (pl.) - bums, British rhyming slang: Barkely and 
>Numms=bums [popular pawn shop in Soho, London, outside of which 
>down-and-out persons hang out, hoping for a coin].
>
>numms, n. - a stew made of peanut butter, corn, and okra.
>
>numms, n. - coins minted from a precious metal, which have been 
>shaved, clipped, or otherwise debased. (London slang ca. 1700, fm. 
>Fr. "numismatic")
>
>numms, n. - in Tuvan throat singing, the vibration in the throat 
>which produces a harmonic sound to the primary pitch.
>
>numms, n (sing., pl.) - a short instrumental piece which can be 
>repeated as necessary to fill time in the Anglican liturgy.
>
>numms, adv. - in a stealthy and horrifying manner. "As they sat in 
>the house chatting and passing a pipe back and forth, the leopard 
>came numms, and carried one out of the house before the other 
>realized what had happened."
>
>numms, n. - [slang] a detachable collar, to be worn over a dirty shirt.
>
>numms, n. - [mil. slang] dog food for canine corps in US military. 
>From acronym Not Up to Mystery Meat Specifications, denoting meat 
>not good enough to serve soldiers.
>
>numms, n. - a unit of quality for grading collectible coins.  The 
>numms scale was introduced in the mid 1970s in an attempt to improve 
>the traditional good/fine/uncirculated scale that had become bogged 
>down with improvised modifiers such as "near extra fine" and "about 
>brilliant uncirculated".  A rating of 1 numms is barely 
>identifiable, while 20 numms is flawless uncirculated.  Adoption was 
>spotty, and it was eventually supplanted by the Sheldon scale.
>
>
>Extra bonus joke definition:
>numms, n. - da cutest widdle kitty cat in da whole world!  C'mere, 
>nummy Numms!!  Who's a good kitty?


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Jim Moskowitz  |  The Unknown Composers Page: http://kith.org/jimmosk/