[Fictionary] NUMMS results!

[Jim Moskowitz]

Thanks to those who answered my call for 
additional votes, we now have a clear NUMMS 
winner to run the next round!


Overall comments:

Fran: "I don't believe any of the definitions."
Joe: "Voting is hard!  Especially when all the 
definitions seem to be trying so hard to get me 
to not vote for them!"
Eric: "I am impressed by our collective restraint 
in the cutesy and yummy definitions. 
Notwithstanding, if   'da cutest widdle kitty cat 
in da whole world!  C'mere, nummy Numms!!  Who's 
a good kitty?'  were a real definition, it would 
get all of my points."
Elliott: "This time, they're *almost* plausible, 
but none of them outright convinces me."



And the winner is... JEAN-JOSEPH, for

numms, n. - a unit of quality for grading 
collectible coins.  The numms scale was 
introduced in the mid 1970s in an attempt to 
improve the traditional good/fine/uncirculated 
scale that had become bogged down with improvised 
modifiers such as "near extra fine" and "about 
brilliant uncirculated".  A rating of 1 numms is 
barely identifiable, while 20 numms is flawless 
uncirculated.  Adoption was spotty, and it was 
eventually supplanted by the Sheldon scale.
by Jean-Joseph
2 points for a correct two-point guess

2 points from Fran "despite the similarity to the other coin definition"
2 points from Elliott "because I believe in rewarding hard work."
1 point from Eric
1 point from Linda, and the "Blinding Me with Science Award"
1 point from Pierre, who adds "but wouldn't it be 
'1 numm'?  Also gets the tog award."
Nick: "Another coin definition... which probably means no one will buy mine."
Jean-Joseph: "(mine) The Sheldon scale (1-70) is 
real, and the current standard, but it originated 
earlier, although I think it took a while to 
catch on, and there wasn't anything else that I'm 
aware of that came in between."



And the correct definition was...

numms, n. - [slang] a detachable collar, to be worn over a dirty shirt.
source: http://www.fromoldbooks.org/Grose-VulgarTongue/n/numms.html

2 points from Jean-Joseph: "What the heck, I find 
it amusing enough to give it the two points. 
Kind of like a dickey, I guess.  I have a 
turtleneck one of those that would fit a toddler 
(no idea why), which for as long as I can 
remember has been on the teddy bear I got for my 
first Xmas."
1 point from Nick "I know shirts tended to be 
more modular, since you couldn't clean them as 
often, so sure. "
Linda: "Why?"
Joe: "Why would having a separate collar make a 
dirty shirt more palatable?  No points."




The other contenders:



numms, n. - a high-clay acidic soil common in boreal and sub-artic regions.
by Eric

2 points from Linda "for being first"
1 point from Joe "By process of elimination, this 
has ended up with my one point vote."
1 point from Nick: "I suppose there could be a 
word for what goes into tundra/permafrost."
1 point from Jean-Joseph: "Well, this sounds so 
good to me that I'm wondering if I haven't maybe 
encountered the word somewhere.  If I have, maybe 
that would be a little unfair.  So I'll just give 
it one point, even though I suspect it's right."



numms, adj. - [slang] brachycephalic
by Hutch  "('brachycephalic' means a skull that 
is (relatively) wide and short. It's opposite is 
'dolichocephalic'. (I think I've spelled that 
correctly.) Think tuna can versus soup can.)"

Linda: "Poor kid!"
Joe: "Ahh, the good ol' 'define a word I don't 
know with another word I don't know' trick!  No 
points."
Nick: "Your what hurts?"
Jean-Joseph: "Short-headed"?



numms, n. (pl.) - bums, British rhyming slang: 
Barkely and Numms=bums  [popular pawn shop in 
Soho, London, outside of which down-and-out 
persons hang out, hoping for a coin].
by Linda

2 points from David
2 points from Nora
Hutch: "If 'hang out' had been replaced by 
'loiter', I'd have given this points. I do like 
Cockney rhyming slang."
Pierre: "In rhyming slang, if you say just one 
word, it's the word that doesn't rhyme, which 
here is 'Barkely'."
Joe: "Umm, doesn't 'bum' mean something rather 
different in Britain?  I don't know if they also 
use it the same way we do.  But I'm also 
skeptical of the idea of a popular Soho pawn 
shop.  No points."
Nick: "Coins... but I'm disinclined to believe rhyming slang defs."
Jean-Joseph: "Ummm... I think the way rhyming 
slang works, bums would be be referred to as 
'Barkely', if this were the derivation."



numms, n. - a stew made of peanut butter, corn, and okra.
by David

2 points from Pierre
2 points from Hutch: "I've heard of such a stew 
(though I think it's closer to a gumbo); no idea 
what it's called"
Linda: "Nummy if you're hungry. Can I have some now?"
Joe: "o/` I come home for dinner and get peanut 
butter stew - I'm not sure that adding okra makes 
it any less comical.  No points."
Nick: "Gross. Believable, but I'm out of points."
Jean-Joseph: "Often when there are food 
suggestions, somebody will say something like 
'Yum!', but this doesn't sound particularly 
appetizing to me.  Maybe it would be a 
contraction for 'not yum'?"


numms, n. - coins minted from a precious metal, 
which have been shaved, clipped, or otherwise 
debased. (London slang ca. 1700, fm. Fr. 
"numismatic")
by Nick
1 point for a correct one-point guess

Linda: "possibly"
Pierre: "Pistareen award"
Joe: "I was all set to vote for this one, because 
I'm pretty sure there is a word for that, even 
though I was skeptical that this was that word. 
Then I saw the derivation, and I don't think that 
'numismatic' is a French word, so now I don't 
wanna vote for it any more.  No points."
Jean-Joseph: "I see I'm not the only one who went for this etymology."



numms, n. - in Tuvan throat singing, the 
vibration in the throat which produces a harmonic 
sound to the primary pitch.
by Joe

1 point from Fran
Linda: "Probably"
Pierre: "I've read some pages on throat singing, 
and they were full of terms like 'dumchuktaar' 
and 'khöömei' and 'ezengileer', but I don't 
remember anything like 'numms'. Does someone have 
yurticaria here?"
Nick: "Seems like too much of a parallel to hum."
Jean-Joseph: "'He can make a numms when he hums.'"
Nora: "This gets the "most likely to be Ranjit" award."



numms, n (sing., pl.) - a short instrumental 
piece which can be repeated as necessary to fill 
time in the Anglican liturgy.
by Ranjit

1 point from David
1 point from Hutch
Linda: "Numbing"
Pierre: "For every Pope smoke, there is a Canterbury cantata."
Nick: "I bought it until the Anglican bit - while 
these do exist, usually to pad out an overly long 
communion, I don't think there's a word for it."
Jean-Joseph: "'Either the choir hums, or the organist plays numms.'"
Elliott"I like the invariant plural and the 
meaning, but it just doesn't say Jim. One point."



numms, adv. - in a stealthy and horrifying 
manner. "As they sat in the house chatting and 
passing a pipe back and forth, the leopard came 
numms, and carried one out of the house before 
the other realized what had happened."
by Pierre

2 stealthy and horrifying points from Ranjit
2 points from Eric "For 'passing a pipe back and 
forth' and for being an adverb.  Also, likely to 
be by Elliott."
1 point from Nora
Linda: "Yikes!"
Nick: "Doesn't feel adverbial to me."
Jean-Joseph: "Maybe the leopard wasn't all that 
stealthy, maybe they were just too stoned to 
notice."



numms, n. - [mil. slang] dog food for canine 
corps in US military. From acronym Not Up to 
Mystery Meat Specifications, denoting meat not 
good enough to serve soldiers.
by Fran

2 points from Joe "OK, this is pretty clever, and 
totally plausible, because soldiers do make up 
weird slang.  Congratulations, you have earned my 
two point vote!"
OAP from Ranjit [which I've concluded means 1 Acronym Point]
Linda: "Chef's Delight Award!"
Nick: "Cute, but I don't buy the initialism."
Jean-Joseph: "No doubt there would somewhere be a 
nauseating parody specification for mystery meat."
Elliott: Sounds like a backronym.



Bonus joke definition:
numms, n. - da cutest widdle kitty cat in da 
whole world!  C'mere, nummy Numms!!  Who's a good 
kitty?
by Jo(k)e

Linda: "Aww!  Again!"